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Welcome to ChesterGoad.com!

Thanks for taking the time to drop by!  At ChesterGoad.com I’ve combined my three favorite topics, “Leadership, Learning, and Life”–all in one place.  I’m a leadership junkie. I read about it, I write about it, and I speak about it.  I also can’t stop learning and I’m driven to help others learn too! I’m pretty open and I enjoy sharing about my life and helping others find their purpose and meet their goals.   I can’t wait to share everything with you!  Subscribe or add me to your favorites list and visit often because I’ll be blogging, and adding new features regularly!  And of course remember if you need a speaker, writer, consultant or coach related to leadership, learning, or life, I’m your guy!  You’re going to find lots of value here. Keep leading. Keep learning. Keep living.

–All my best, all the time –Chester

p.s. Email me at chestergoad@gmail.com  or find me on your favorite social media! 

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Do You Know Someone Making a Difference? Tell Me Now!

hands of different cultures reaching out in a circle Dear Readers, Friends & Family,
I’m just throwing it out there: I write & I want to help people who are doing great things for their community, their country, or their world. If you know someone who fits that, have them email me personally. You can also email me, but I’ll need comprehensive contact info and a summary of what they’re doing.
 
If their purpose fits my project, I just may interview them, write something for them and/or help promote their message. As you can imagine, I can only do a few of these so don’t be offended if you submit something and I don’t contact you. I’ll contact you if I think it’s a good basis for a story.
Disclaimer: I promise whatever you are doing to fulfill your purpose is important!  It just may not fit what I am looking for at this moment. If you don’t hear from me, don’t be discouraged. I’ll enter everyone into a spread sheet for later. Just because it’s not the right fit today, doesn’t mean it won’t be the right down the road.
 

Some posts may be full length articles, some may be shorter features, and still others may be included in a multi-highlight article. Now if youyoung homeless boy sleeping on the bridge, poverty, city, street know someone giving it all they’ve got to change their world, let me know. It needs to be someone who has put their plan into action, who is already witnessing results. Also, it can certainly be faith-based but it doesn’t have to be, as long as it’s an attempt at lasting or meaningful positive change.

 
There are so many unsung heroes. Let’s get them and their life purpose and passion out there for others to see! If you want to read some of what I’ve written just go to my website or Google my name and Huffington Post, or my name and The Good Men Project. It will bring me joy to help others fulfill their purpose. This is sincere, and free. No gimmicks.
Submissions should be sent to: ChesterGoad@gmail.com with “Change the World” in the subject line. I cannot silhouette of small child standing in the setting sunlight promise where the article or feature will be published. It may just be published to my own site, but remember I also write for multiple outlets and will pursue those as well.
I will be the person reading the submissions. The only thing I promise is that if you send me someone’s name and project ( sorry no political issues, no businesses, with the exception of social entrepreneurs)– I will pray for you and for them, and I’ll consider writing about what they’re doing. Now go! And Feel free to share! 

Who is Chester? An expert in leadership, Chester is also a leading influencer in social reputation, education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture. Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post The Good Men Project, and Edutopia.  He has a heart for helping people, and for helping others who help people. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.comHe and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son. He hopes to leave a legacy of living and fulfilling God’s purpose for his life, whatever that may be, and making a difference.  What’s your purpose? 

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Quiet Please…: Filmmaker Jeffrey Scott Gould’s New Misophonia Documentary Is Plenty To Chew On

Jeffrey Scott Gould was only 7 years old when he discovered one of his first sound triggers.   He was taking a test and the kid sitting behind him kept sniffling.  Simple sniffles could keep Jeff from learning.  Since that time additional unbearable triggering sounds have been added to the list.  There’s chewing and crunching, and then there’s the sound of someone plodding along in flip-flops.  He recalls once asking his step-mom as a teen to leave the carrots out the salad at dinner. And then there’s the time he confronted his sister about her loud tortilla chip crunching.  The response was never good.  To Jeffrey’s dismay the list of sounds that cause him difficulty continues to grow.

The word “misophonia” can literally be translated as “hatred of sound.”  But how does one come to hate sound? Certainly we all have our own lists of things that annoy us, but misophonia is different.  Many living with it describe it as almost painful and worsening or expanding over time.  Jeff describes it as a condition that makes one “sensitive to certain sounds that cause a physiological reaction”.  In his case he experiences an adrenaline release, along with increased heart-rate, and a feeling of rage that needs to be released. He knows a response like that to everyday sound is not logical and laments it’s also not something he can control by “thinking his way out of it”.

a movie camera appears to be filming a young man sitting on a stool

(Filming Ph.D. Candidate, Michael Mannino, Center for Complex Systems and Brain Sciences FAU)

Gould was 53 when a friend told him about a 20/20 segment featuring misophonia.  He describes his experience watching that tv segment as “life changing.” After years of living with the condition he was elated to know that it was more than a quirk, and that there were other people just like him.  Once he realized his nemesis has a name, he also knew it was time to marry his two loves— filming documentaries and educating people about misophonia.

He remembers growing up with hopes of becoming an architect. That was until his mother gave him his grandfather’s old 8mm camera.  From there he took a high school film class under favorite teacher Jerry Hochberg who nurtured his interests, and talents and encouraged him on a path leading him to where he is today.

So where is he?  Jeffrey Scott Gould founded Action Media Production, has quite a film resume, and has produced an impressive list of documentaries, his favorite film genre.  Thanks to an effective crowd-funding campaign, generous donors (most of whom live with misophonia), old friends, and new ones, he’s about to premiere a new labor of love– a documentary about misophonia called, “Quiet Please…”  The film is certain to grab attention, and to change a few minds along the way.  Changing minds is a small component of the purpose of the film, but it’s important because misophonia as a condition is not without scoffers and detractors even among friends and family.  Jeff describes releasing the trailer and sharing it with the world as sort of a coming out.

His condition was then out there for everyone to consider or criticize.  Some people expressed shock. Others were supportive.  Some were actually sad. Then there were those who remained silent not knowing exactly what to think, but Jeff says he doesn’t push.  He wants the film to speak for itself.  Or rather, he wants the people who put themselves out there by sharing their stories in the film to speak for themselves.  After all he suggests, “When you try to force something, it’s not genuine, but once the timing is right, and the passion is there, there’s no going back.”

In the last year, Jeff has travelled the country interviewing people who live daily with misophonia, or those who research it. Those with misophonia have similar struggles defined with different circumstances effecting their relationships, work, or overall life enjoyment.

For Jeff, “Quiet Please…” is certainly a product of love and affection for filmmaking, but it’s also much more than

four people standing in front of a fence

(Jeffrey Scott Gould (left) filmed Paul and Ana Tabachneck (Center) in Bronx along with Production Assistant, Chris Insignares (right). The Tabachneks both appear in the film as does Paul’s music)

that.  “I wanted to make a difference in the only way I knew how—through film and storytelling. In this instance, I’m not some random interviewer asking a question and moving on.  I relate to what most people tell me about their stories, and that was the most amazing part.  People were talking, but my words were coming out of their mouths.  It’s incredible, and cathartic.”

Most documentaries don’t end up in mainstream theaters and Jeffrey’s ok with that.  He knows he has a built-in audience who will probably promote the film fueled from their own life experiences, but he’s not counting on that.  He knows getting the film completed and releasing it is only the beginning.

One of his goals is to reach those people still dealing with misophonia on their own—those who haven’t realized there are thousands more people like themselves dealing with this mysterious thing that actually now has a name.  But he also suggests that the film goes beyond misophonia and may have some relational appeal. After all, any successful relationship requires compromise, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and commitment, so the film is full of life lessons.

Jeff is quick to admit he hates the way misophonia takes over his mind and body causing him to react negatively to the people he loves and cares about.  He hates when “hate” wins.  There are rare times when the triggers are absent, and he can even forget he has it, but it’s always there. If he hasn’t slept or he’s already stressed, the slightest sound can push him over the edge.  That’s not what he wants.  That’s not what anyone with misophonia wants.  Hopefully the film will effectively convey that message to those who have never heard of it.

Jeffrey’s hoping for screening in a variety of venues like classrooms, universities, film festivals, and special events, and ultimately he would love to see the film screened on PBS.

There are two private screenings of “Quiet Please…” this summer before the full release. The first is Saturday June 18th in SoHo, New York City, with a follow-up private screening on July 20th in Asbury Park.

Watch the trailer here.

Visit the “Quiet Please…” website.

This post first appeared here on The Huffington Post. 


Who is Chester? An expert in leadership, Chester is also a leading influencer in social reputation, social entrepreneurism, education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture. Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the ,Huffington Post The Good Men Project, and Edutopia. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.com. He and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son.  He believes that misophonia is real, and hopes to help others understand that. 

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“I Love You and I’m Proud of You”…Thanks Dad.

happy fathers dayI remember my first college course.  I had worked two jobs throughout high school and so I had decided to attend community college and continue working. For the first semester I’d attend a local branch campus not far from our house.  The satellite campus as we called it, was located in an old lumber yard.  The college had re-purposed the sales area into several classrooms and office spaces.  Dad had told me if I’d stay home the first semester before moving, he’d help me with books etc., and I could work and continue saving money.  I had always dreamed of going away to Memphis State (now University of Memphis), or Carson-Newman.  Both were still in Tennessee, but far enough away to make the separation from my parents and hometown to have a traditional college experience.

I had reluctantly taken my dad’s advice.  I’d worked throughout my high school years, but hadn’t saved enough for much of anything, and truthfully, I just wasn’t ready.  Although I was always creative, and in pursuit of dreams and adventure, I was incredibly immature.  So against my inner will, I put that dream on hold, and enrolled in community college.  Later I would learn that community college was the best thing I could have done for myself, but at the time, I really wasn’t happy.  So I was even more mortified at what happened next.

an old military photo of the authors dadI’d rearranged my work schedule so I could take Ms. Doris Chitwood’s algebra class.  I’d had Ms. Chitwood in high school and thought the familiarity would be nice.  Familiarity was important in this case because I stunk at math and always had.  On the first day of class, I purchased my books, entered the classroom with several familiar faces and took a seat against the wall.   I remember looking down and flipping through my book to avoid conversations.  This wasn’t what I had intended. I had intended going away somewhere. Even if I had to work three jobs, so be it, I wanted to go do something, and this wasn’t what I wanted.

I continued flipping through my books, keeping my face down in my text book blocking out much of what was going on until I heard this laugh.  Ms. Chitwood had said something funny, and others were laughing, but one of the laughs was a familiar guffaw.  I looked across the room to find my dad with his textbooks, cutting up with the people in my class. MY Class.  Not his class. What was he doing?  My face turned red.  Two shades of red, maybe purple, because there he was taking college courses with me. I was embarrassed and mad.

scott county branch campus

The old lumber yard has since been replaced.

I had heard my dad a mechanics teacher, talking about going back to school for some time, but never dreamed he’d be at my school or in my classes and especially not this one.  Dad had been hired based off his experience both in the military as a mechanic, and as a local dealership mechanic but lacked a college degree and often talked about checking that goal off his bucket list.  I suppose we both survived. I don’t remember much of that experience, maybe it was the trauma of taking a course with my dad, a non-traditional college student.

A few years later, I was married but still in school though I had moved on to Tennessee Tech University, and my dad old family photobeat me.  He had gone on to complete his four year degree in business at Tusculum College and finished well before me.

Fast forward a few more years, I was married with a baby boy and working as Projects Director for a US Congressman.  My wife a school teacher and I were sitting on the couch watching Everybody Loves Raymond and eating freshly delivered pizza when we got the call.  My brother-in-law was on the line with the news.  My dad had been flown by life-flight helicopter to UT hospital after an apparent severe heart attack had caused him to cross the median and leave the road, his car landing on the other side. I remember feeling sick and calling a few friends requesting prayer.

Dad died on Memorial Day, 2001.  Just day’s before his last words to me had been “I love you and I’m proud of you.” What are the chances of that? Throughout my years in education, politics, and advocacy, I’ve learned that there are many men whose lives have been haunted and hindered because they never heard those important words from their dad.  And so I realize those words were the best gift if he could have left me.

college degree hanging on wall

My Dad’s college degree still hangs in our home.

I remember my mom, who has since passed on as well, asked me if there was anything of my dad’s I wanted.  I walked over to the wall and took his college degree off the wall.  To this day it hangs in our home as a reminder of that first college class, that my dad beat me in our quest for a college education, and more importantly of those last words, “I’m proud of you, and I love you.” I try to remember if I ever returned the sentiment, and I wrack my brain—did I ever tell him? Did I ever let him know I was proud of him? And it worries me, and so I lay it down right here on Father’s Day 2016.  I love you dad, and I’m proud of you, and because of you, I tell my son the same thing every day. Thank you for that legacy.

 


 

Who is Chester? An expert in leadership, Chester is also a leading influencer in social reputation, education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture. Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post The Good Men Project, and Edutopia. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.comHe and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son.  Thanks to the legacy his dad left, he tells his son he loves him every day. 

 

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Caution: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling Yourself a Leader

triangular yield or caution signs with question marksThere’s no shortage of people calling themselves leaders today.  Search Amazon and you’ll find thousands or millions of books on leadership-related topics.  Google the word, and there are tons of websites. Hashtag the term in your Twitter search box and you’ll find scores of profiles. There’s nothing wrong with being a leader or claiming the title.  We need more leaders.  I can’t think of a field where leadership is not appreciated.  Nor can I think of a time when effective leadership was needed more! Leaders aren’t always liked or loved, and effective leaders face challenges every day that could put their reputations or their businesses at risk. So if you want to be a leader, and you’re willing to put yourself out there, kudos to you it takes courage to do that.  Just know that the term “leader” shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Below are five questions everyone should ask before claiming the risky title of leader.

Am I a good listener?

Listening is just one of those skills that you can’t ignore. Speaking of ignoring, if you’re not truly listening, then people think you’re ignoring them.  The word “ignore” actually comes directly from the Latin term “ignorare” which literally means to dismiss or disregard.  And I’m sure if you further study the word ignore there’s a direct relationship to the word “ignorant”.  Leaders who choose not to listen are ignorant.  People around us need to know we’re listening.  Most of the time, they just want to be heard.  Leaders listen, and genuinely want to hear the people around them.

Am I teachable?

I’m a teacher by trade.  I love sharing knowledge or finding the message or meaning in something and passing it on to those around me.  It is certainly an unrealistic expectation for leaders to know everything.  When we think we know everything we stop discovering, and innovating.  Leaders worth following are always looking around for ways to improve and build on their base.  Those who are unteachable are quick to judge or criticize the ideas or thoughts of others.  They’re also typically the first to say, “That’ll never work.” Teachable people are willing and flexible, even when they’re uncomfortable because they know learning is the only way to growth, and that new experiences and sharpened abilities are the keys to success for them and their team. I’ve often said, that when we become truly unteachable, our career is about to meet its end.

Is anyone following me?

This is a tough one.  I don’t believe that leaders must have tons of followers but leading by its very definition implies there are at least some followers.  I also don’t necessarily believe that leaders have to be running a Fortune 500 business or organization either.  Some of the best leaders have a small team of very effective people.  I have however, noticed the trend of quick print CEOs. They simply print business cards with the CEO title on it before ever making a sale or a profit, without any evidence of leadership. I can’t help but ask– CEO of what? CEO implies an organization exists and that there are others in the organization.  Less people are willing to do the grunt work before claiming the mantle of President or CEO.  I’d rather their business card simply say, innovative, entrepreneur, or entry level jack of all trades. After all most are not only entrepreneurs, but they’re also responsible for their own web presence, social media, lead generation, paperwork, and more.

Some choose to call themselves, “Thought Leaders” too.  I respect that because it implies there’s some heavy creativity, and influence, but again, thought leadership also implies some authority and respect exists for your name within your field, and that in fact your thoughts have made the leap from your head to another venue, person, or organization.

nicely dressed man sitting in road with laptop thinkingThen there’s also this idea of self-leadership.  Those people who proclaim they are leaders because they lead themselves. I think that’s noble and we need more disciplined self-leadership especially as we are developing leaders.  The term implies a leader is taking responsibility for life and getting it all together expecting to go out and do great things. Perhaps it’s the pupae stage of being a leader, and you’re someone with leadership characteristics who may be worthy of leading, but you’re not a leader until you have followers.

Do others know my purpose?

One of the most significant compliments any leader can get is to be confronted with the notion that other people are listening to your message, and they find value in what you’re saying and that they respect you for advancing your ideas.  If you’re out there doing things, and you’re actively seeking to impact your community, your organization, or your field, people will notice.  It will be no secret what you’re up to.  When others know and understand what you’re about, and they see you acting intentionally to pursue your passion, then they’ll also know your purpose.  You won’t have to work to earn the respect of those you’re trying to serve, and you’ll become their go-to person.

Why am I calling myself a leader anyway?

This is one of the toughest but most important questions you can ask yourself.  Why? Why are you pursuing whatever you’re pursuing?  Only you know your motivation.  Titles and recognition are much less important than bringing value, change, and meaning to other people.  You can lead without a title. Many people do it. With few exceptions you’ll find that most of the successful people in your field are successful not because they were pursuing glorification, attention, or seeking flattery. They’re successful because they’re intention is to make a lasting impact in their sphere of influence and in their world.

Self-reflection is an important part of not only becoming a leader, but of remaining one.  Take some time and write down why it is you’re comfortable being called a leader, and try your best to refrain from referring to yourself that way, not because you’re not one, but because it’s much more powerful and sweeter to hear that from others in your world and to know that you’re trusted in that way.

 


Who is Chester? An expert in leadership, Chester is also a leading influencer in social reputation, education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture. Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post The Good Men Project, and Edutopia. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.com.

He and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son. His favorite contemporary leaders include:  Bob Goff, Seth Godin, Andy Stanley, Brene’ Brown, Christine Caine, Simon Sinek, John Maxwell, and emerging leader Paul Sohn.

Who are your favorite leaders? Share them with Chester, and tell him why they’re your faves on your favorites by connecting on social media. 

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Best Used By: Has Your Career Met Its Shelf Life?

alarm clock sitting in glassI read an article that resonated with me last year written by my friend Paul Sohn, author of Quarter-Life Calling, a book aimed primarily at millennials.  Strangely, I’ve found that I relate to millennials in lots of ways, and refuse to accept my age, especially now that I am closer to meeting my half-life.  I was strolling through the grocery store recently, when I heard a high schoolish clerk say, “This job’s only temporary, I don’t plan on being here for long.”  That got me thinking about Paul’s article “Why I Fired Myself before I Got Fired by Someone Else.” Paul quit his dream job with a Fortune 50 company soon after he realized it really wasn’t his dream.  That article got me thinking about life and career choices, how people end up where they are, why they stay, and why they go, and the legacy they leave behind.

Now, I’ve never been the one to do the shopping in our household.  I work out-of-town and so most of my grocery shopping is limited to picking up milk, bread, sour cream or some other random, forgotten ingredient on my drive home.  These last-minute items are often perishables stamped with random dates or phrases, like “best used by”, “sell by” or “expiration”.  I’ll also admit I never really understood what any of that meant, and so I’d just do my best to reach into the coolers and pull out those with the most recent dates.

It wasn’t until recently I was schooled on the meanings behind those random phrases, and most of it boils down to freshness or quality.  “Expired”, according to my expert, is pretty self-explanatory and typically means “no longer of use”.  Though there are those who may debate that depending on what the intended use might be.

Sell by” is a phrase directed at the retailers or outlets selling the product.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that the product is no longer unfit for consumption but that after the listed date it may be necessary and prudent to remove it from the shelves, as the quality for consumption will go downhill quickly thereafter.

Best used by” on the other hand is a pointed issue of quality, and simply means that for the best freshness, or very best taste, or to get the best use of the product’s intended purpose, it’s prime usage is any time before that “Best Used By” date.

Carrying a jug of milk to the register, I wondered if perhaps careers might need similar dates. I have many friends and family who are miserable in their decent or even well-paying jobs and some who may not be miserable but are longing to do something else.

So what if careers had a shelf life?  How fresh is your passion? Below are some points to consider that will help you figure that out.  Check them out to determine whether you’re still within your “best used by” date or whether you may be inching closer to expiration.

milk carton reads missing purpose Freshness: Remember the excitement you felt after your graduation from high school or college? Do you recall how it felt when you accepted your first job and you were ready to show the world what you could do and own it? Those were more likely to be during that period when you received recognition for first years on the job, or your five year pin.  The mistakes you made were rookie like, never purposeful, and more likely part of a learning process. You remember. You were fresh, and your outlook was fresh!

Best Used By:  You can be confident you’re still within “best used by” range if you’re still excited about your work, you’re passionate about the mission, and you’re conscientious about the quality of your work.  You’re at your career best, when you’re still driven toward successes, continued professional growth, and excellence.  You’re consistent and steady, and rarely irked when things don’t go your way.  Given the opportunity you still volunteer when a need is presented.  You still proudly display all of your tokens of recognition, and now there are more of them.  Oh there are still some bad days, but overall there are a lot more good days!

Reaching Expiration or Completely Expired (Only you know): You’re slowly losing your passion.  You question the purpose of everything you’re doing.  You’re feeling increasingly more stressed, anxious or unhappy in your position.  You’re showing more signs of declining physical or emotional well-being directly related to your job. When you think about going to work you have an overwhelming feeling of dread, and when you’re there you just want to go home. When you’re home you avoid talk or anything having to do with work, and when you wake up in the mornings, you pray it’s still the weekend.  You’re valuing work relationships less and less, and you respect your supervisors much less and less. While the quality of your work may still be excellent, you rarely go above and beyond unless it’s solely on your terms. It’s possible you’ve become “that disgruntled person” complaining about every little thing, and your work output is deteriorating if not already rotten. milk carton reads mission passion

When faced with change, new projects, or deadlines “spoiled seniority syndrome” sets in and you question why you should be forced to do any of this because you’ve been here or you’ve been doing this longer. This leads you to perpetual job search. Monster.com, Indeed, LinkedIn job search, and other employment sites are book-marked and visited regularly, and you find anything to do but what you should be doing. You constantly bargain with yourself about how much longer you can hang on.  (Heads up, there’s a lot of research and debate out there about mortality and retirement. Some believe if you wait too long, you just may wind up dead sooner than you think! I don’t know if that’s true but it’s a lot to think about. According to them, the longer you put off retirement the less time you’ll have to enjoy it.  None of that may be true, but is it worth it to hang on miserably for an extra 50 bucks a month?

People whose careers have fully expired are no longer positive contributors to the mission, instead they become inflexible inhibitors of innovation and creativity, and for the most part they act like they’re dead already.

Remember that old saying, “Aspire to inspire before you expire”?  How about we Aspire to inspire then retire then inspire some more, and THEN expire.” I know it’s longer and lacks the same flowy appeal but why not?

All is not lost.

My wife and I made a pact when we married.  We are both educators and we are both administrators.  When we entered education, we agreed that if we ever lost our passion, or lost sight of our purpose, or if we were making students miserable, we would retire no matter what age we were, and we’d fully support each other in our next careers.  She’ll likely work at a flower shop, and I will likely work at a coffee shop (Ok maybe I’ll just hang at the coffee shop. Who knows?). The bottom line is it’s not fair to our employers, our colleagues, students or our mission for us to hang on for no other reason than to retire at some random date.  In other words, when we’ve passed our “Best Used By” period, we promise to move on.

It’s not uncommon to become nostalgic and ask ourselves if we’ve fulfilled all we’ve ever dreamed of.  Maybe we lived our dream, and maybe we didn’t.  But we still have choices.  It’s actually more common today to move on to second or third careers, or to become an innovator, entrepreneur, writer, or even dare I say, a blogger?

One of the best questions we can ask ourselves is if we’re still teachable.  Once we become unteachable, we’re about to reach career expiration.

In the end, when you pack your boxes and move on whether to retirement or your next gig, you want to leave things better than how you found them, and if we truly care about our original purpose or the original mission we committed to, we’re not going to do anything to harm it.  Sometimes it’s not only about us, it’s about the people who come after us and the legacy we’re leaving behind.


 

Who is Chester? An expert in leadership, Chester is also a leading influencer in social reputation, education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture. Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the ,Huffington Post The Good Men Project, and Edutopia. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.com. He and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son. He’s closer to further from quarter life, and closer to half-life.  Are you feeling like you’re meeting your shelf-life?  Tell me about it on your favorite social media. 

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Wanna Be a Super Leader? Use Your Own Original Powers & Wear Your Own Super Suit

batman and superman The resurgence and spectacular reception of comic superhero movies in the last few years has brought about familiar arguments.  Which is the better franchise DC Comics or Marvel, and who’s copying whom?  I’ve seen tons of articles pointing out the similarities in DC and Marvel characters.  Some heroes have strong resemblances in their backgrounds and personalities. Others have very similar skills or powers. Think about it: The Justice League vs. The Avengers, Green Arrow and Hawk, Batman and Iron Man (Tony Stark/Bruce Wayne) Thor and Superman. I could go on, but  are these similarities coincidence, and if not who’s copying whom?  Why would one franchise want to emulate another franchise and who did it first?  Tons of resources and theories exist on this topic. Fans and skeptics research and debate, and websites are dedicated to it.

So why would one superhero want to look, act or live like another?  Probably because of the level of success already witnessed. Hollywood has been doing this for years by introducing a series of films based on the box office smash-hit success of similar flicks.  Maybe they figure it’s easier than having to imagine something wholly different, and taking your chances on whether or not people will buy in. Unfortunately similar thinking exists in the realm of social influence and leadership.  But most of us aren’t in Hollywood, and unless we’re part of the DC or Marvel franchise–it’s best we discover our own secrets to success.

Leaders and entrepreneurs too often make the mistake of trying hard to follow in the footsteps of other successful entrepreneurs, and nothing can be more damaging to their efforts.  Many fall into the trap of chasing someone else’s dream rather than their own. Podcast entrepreneur Jared Easley cautions creators and entrepreneurs about that in the book Stop Chasing Influencers coauthored with life and business coach Kimanzi Constable.  Their take:  Stop chasing influencers and just become one, and I couldn’t agree more. But it’s easier said than done, and what’s wrong with a little competition right?  Here’s the thing, Simon Sinek says, “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it” and Seth Godin teaches that “People don’t buy goods and services. They buy relationships, stories, and magic.”  Truth bombs.

Every leader or influencer has a unique story with unique life experiences that resonate with a certain group of people.  Every leader, creator, or entrepreneur has earned and built influence based on their own personality, experiences and relationships. No matter how hard one person tries to emulate someone else’s success story they’re not going to get the same result.

boom

“I can’t” is our krytopnite!

In the end, attempts to be like someone else or do what someone else did, are futile and disappointing—and your chances of becoming “super” based off someone else’s vision in your shared influence space are pretty slim.  You have to do what YOU do.  You have to know why you do it. It’s up to you to build your own relationships, share your own stories and create your own magic.

Someone else’s dream is not your dream.  Yet, it happens all the time. People see the success of others and they’re amazed. In most cases, they have sincere admiration for their favorite influencer or entrepreneur, and in a sense those successful people in their niche become their heroes.  They figure they have a similar dream so the best way to accomplish it, is to do exactly what their favorite superhero is doing, the same way they did it.  It’s less about someone trying to hijack another person’s dream and more about attempting to follow someone else’s path to success.  Either way though, it’s just not going to be the same.  You have to suit up in your own super gear, find the cape that will help you fly on your own, and wear that.

pow

One of the greatest villains or enemies of aspiring entrepreneurs, content creators, or social influencers is “Fear”—fear to be oneself, fear to step out and try something totally new, fear of starting from scratch and building something.  Starting out is challenging, but your kryptonite is the phrase, “I can’t”.  Stop trying to be a double agent.  You can’t be someone else, and yourself at the same time.  Remember, Fear is our greatest villain–“I can’t” is our Kryptonite”.

If you really want to be “super” remember this: You’ll find your own super powers when you discover your unique passion, purpose, and vision, and when you develop your own compelling message that brings value to the lives of those around you.  Now go crack that case, and save the planet one genuine relationship at a time.


 

Who is Chester? An expert in leadership, Chester is also a leading influencer in social reputation, education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture. Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the ,Huffington Post The Good Men Project, and Edutopia. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.com. He and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son. His favorite superhero is DC’s Superman, but his favorite overall comic franchise is Marvel. Go figure!  He’s also volunteering for the first time this year at DragonCon in Atlanta in September!  Who’s your favorite superhero? Let him know on your favorite social media. 

 

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Where Guilt Comes From and What Leaders Can Do about It

little rubber gumby type figure with sad face and hands in air

As a leader, what are you doing to deal with guilt?

For entrepreneurs, creators, writers, parents, and others who wear many hats or share multiple responsibilities, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or frustrated with guilt about everything that needs to be done or should be done. On one hand, family or personal responsibilities pull us. On the other hand, many of us with day jobs have side hustles. Those who are full-time entrepreneurs or creators have multiple projects or businesses to attend to and each of us has a purpose. But with purpose comes responsibility. Passion, and priorities in our lives must be tended to. Neglect of either may spell disaster.

Where does guilt come from? Guilt comes from that place where passion and priority intersect with expectation. Expectations whether realistic or unrealistic come with a fair amount of guilt.  Guilt comes from all of those things that pull our heart and mind in different directions.  an intersection sign reads passion priorities expectations and other stuff with guilt in the very centerUnchecked anxiety, and the pressure that comes from guilt can damage relationships, stunt or impede our growth, and make us otherwise miserable. In turn, we risk making others unhappy as well.  Believe it or not, we can experience guilt not only from perceived “bad” or “dreaded” things but also from the need or desire to do “good” or “positive” things, and that includes things that bring us joy.

Guilt from good things (family, church, volunteerism, exercise or wellness activities) can sometimes be even worse because we look at those good things we want to do, and feel shame for not being able to meet expectations or devote as much time to them as we wish.  One of the worst things can do is to allow guilt to consume us and block us from things that need done, or things we really want to do.  As leaders, we may sometimes feel overwhelmed, but we don’t need our team or colleagues to see us that way.  We’re here to build the team’s confidence and complete a mission together, not to project our anxiety, stress or worry onto them, otherwise whose fault is it when the mission fails?

As a husband, parent, friend, volunteer, and advocate with several side hustles, I find myself facing these types of situations all the time.  I often have to remind myself the following four things:

  1. Communication preserves relationships and relationships come first. Leaders express appreciation to the people in their lives. They talk to them about shared needs and afford them the respect of communicating their plans and priorities. They don’t need to know just that you have a lot on your plate.  They need to know that they’re on the plate too!
  2. Careers and side hustles are important, but they’re also choices.  Leaders use caution and discretion in what they choose to take on, and they admit when circumstances need to change, and change them. Learning to say yes and no definitively is a crucial skill worth honing.
  3. Our guilt manifests negativity which can be off-putting.  Leaders who choose also to be advocates cannot be effective if they’re consumed or haunted by negativity, frustration, or shame.  All of those risk hindering reputations and turn others off.
  4. Budgeting time is a necessity for success. Be honest about your priorities and your passions and try to set aside time in your budget for all of those things.  Rank each of them and remove anything you can from the bottom of the list.

Albert Camu said, “Life is the sum of all our choices.”  What will you choose? Will you choose to lead or allow guilt to rule your life?  Resolve today to communicate, learn to say no, avoid negativity, budget your time, and rescue yourself from unnecessary shame and guilt.  It is possible to be happy while you hustle and chase your passions.  Also, I’d love to hear how you deal with guilt.  Search me on your favorite social media and let me know!

Who is Chester? A leader in education, non-profit advocacy, parenting issues, access, policy, and blogging culture, Chester has been quoted in major media outlets such as CNBC, Yahoo, the Washington Post, Forbes Leadership, and others. He is a contributing writer for the Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, and Edutopia. You can learn more about Chester and his Amazon #1 Best Seller at www.purplepeopleleaderbook.com or www.chestergoad.com. He and his wife live in Tennessee with their teenage son. 

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